38 weeks: Things I've Learned

1. If something feels out of the ordinary, it's totally normal...after all, you're pregnant, right???
(Dr. I think I have a stick growing out of my head...normal. Dr., I can't really get a full breath of air and my heart rate is really high, I feel very faint....normal. Dr., I think I am turning into an alien...normal.)

2. At this stage in the game, the overachiever tendencies are just not possible. Choose 1 thing a day to try and accomplish, and it is truly amazing if it actually gets done.

3. As great as you feel when you wake up in the morning, know that you WILL need a nap in the afternoon at some point...which might last until evening, which might even last until the next morning.

4. No matter how early you cut off the liquids at night, you will inevitably get up to go to the bathroom at least 3 times.

So far this pregnancy has been relatively easy, minus being sick to my stomach for the first 20 weeks. But honestly, I can't really remember how bad it was, I just know in my head that I was pretty miserable. But here we are, 38 weeks pregnant, expecting our son to arrive very soon. I'm feeling pretty good right now...some days are better than others, but again it's been fairly easy. I get tired, sure, but my back doesn't hurt and I don't feel like this kid has to get out right now or I might die. So I think that's a win, right?? It's hard to wrap my mind around all that has happened in the last few months of the pregnancy. In the midst of Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years I somehow managed to stay energized (praise God) to finish up all my schoolwork for my undergrad and completed my last day of work on December 31st. HUGE sigh of relief. I feel like life has been on hold for the past semester. Things at home, things with my husband, things for the baby...it has all just been piling up for so long while I tried to balance working every day and then attending school multiple nights a week. I don't know how people manage all of that on top of having children in the house. Thankfully we don't have to find out :)

The past 2 weeks or so have been a huge adjustment but oh such a sweet time of learning. I am finally getting to do the things at home that I've longed to do since Billy and I got married. I find such pleasure in the simple things, like knowing my husband has a drawer full of clean undershirts or knowing that there are clean towels in the linen closet and fresh sheets on the bed (ask me how much I like laundry after a little one is here...might change a bit ;) ). I find such satisfaction knowing that when one of us opens the refrigerator there is something healthy and desireable to eat that is not growing scary colors on it. I love being available to take Billy to the airport and pick him up, providing a meal for him...I love serving my husband and our home. And as I sit here and think about how much I love it, I can't help but be reminded of God's grace and His perfect provision and portion for Billy and I at this time to allow me to not work outside the home. At first it was a tough adjustment, preparing months ago for a drop in income. But at the same time it has been truly a blessing for our marriage trusting in the Lord and learning to live without so many things we once had. I would gladly trade the extra cable package, extra clothing budget and extra money to eat out at fancy places for the opportunity to learn what God has in store for us during this season as I learn how to serve my home in the ways God asks of me.

So baby stuff...the room is almost "finished" and the many areas of our house that have been disorganized for the past 6 months are almost finished being organized. Billy opens a cabinet or drawer and says, "Seriously...another basket?" I guess I've kind of developed an obsession with baskets lately... anyways. We are getting "ready." I don't know what that really means, seeing as the next 20 years of our lives are going to be a total roller coaster of learning all God has in store to teach us as we try and figure out what on earth we are doing with this child He has given us. We like to talk at night about what he might be like, our son. Whether he'll look like Billy or myself, be quiet or talkative, and what it will be like to hold him for the first time. The other night Billy looked over at me and said, "I just can't wait to hold him...I'm jealous that you get him all the time, feeling him move and roll around and I don't get that." Ok, really??? I love that man. Though I have been around many many babies and children I still get anxious about having one of our own. I am not afraid of baby things, like baths, crying, bottles, poop...I feel like I have a pretty good grasp of that kind of thing. I am anxious, however, about being mommy all day every day, being totally responsible for this little one. Knowing that he is going to see (or not see) Jesus through my testimony on a daily basis is scary. He is going to understand Christ through the way my husband loves me and the way I respect my husband. And we mess up, a lot. And knowing that we are the ones he is looking to is hard to swallow. I'm fearful of the mistakes I know I will make. I do believe, though, that God has given women and mothers the wisdom to parent, so I am resting in His guidance and trying to choose trust in Him for wisdom on how to parent this baby. There are so many books, websites and parenting techniques out there...and that scares me. What if we choose the wrong one? What if we mess up? What if, what if, what if.... Thankfully we serve an awesome and sovereign God, and He will equip us with the wisdom and energy we need. And I keep coming back to the same thought over and over again: What did women do in the beginning??? They did not google anything...they didn't go to the library and check out a book on parenting techniques or how to schedule your baby. I am fully aware that I have no idea what motherhood will be like...BUT...people keep having babies, and they have been since the creation of man. And I can rest knowing that I am being carried in my Father's arms and that He will give me the strength and wisdom and encouragement I need in order to raise this child like He desires. So that is my prayer at this point as we wait in ancticipation for our son to arrive.

We are so excited to meet our sweet son and we are praying for humble and teachable hearts knowing that we are about to embark on an adventure that will change us forever. We are overwhelmed with all of our friends love and support and their excitement as well. So, 38 weeks and counting... until then, I'll be napping a lot :)