Preschool Pressure

Luke is almost 3.  Almost meaning 2 more months and my baby is 3.  Many exciting things come with the age three.  Preschool time at the library (as opposed to toddler time) cooking class at the museum, non-parent-involved gymnastics classes.....  And preschool registration.  As I have been researching preschools in our area I am overwhelmed.  I am stressed.  I am anxious at the mere thought - self induced - of standing in line to try and "win" a spot for the class I want.  And as I thought through these things more and more I was overwhelmed with the pressures of preschool.

Among moms there is this underlying sense of pressure.  Expectations.  Longing for right of approval.  Unfortunately I fall guilty of judging or thinking less of others based on their parenting decisions.  And I know that many decisions I have made have brought judgment opon myself.  Cloth diapers?  When did you start solids?  How long did you breast feed?  You gave your child WHAT kind of milk at WHAT age?!  You give your child store bought baby food?  Natural birth vs the alternatives.  You do Babywise (or don't??)?   You let your child sleep with you?  And on. And on. And on.  Spank?  Santa? Elf on th shelf?  Oh you went back to work?  More recently for us - and more piercing, honestly, "What preschool does he go to?"  "Is he going next year?" "Where are you going to try and enroll him?"  "You're thinking of keeping him HOME?!?"  Can I get a a WITNESS?!! Says Peter Rochelle.

And so here I am, confident in decisions I have made (some areas where I feel I should have acted differently, God's grace has already met me there.)in the past with my boys but now there is this.  The decision of preschool or not to preschool is just sitting at my feet.  And I am humbled yet saddened at how much weight I (we) put on what others think.  I want to be passionate about the things Christ was passionate about (which is not cloth diapers or breastfeeding, though they are not bad things and we choose both).  I want to put great weight on the desires of His heart (I can't find sleep schedules in there anywhere...).  I'm not so much interested in making my decisions based on what the national education something or another says I should send my child to preschool for.  I want to listen to the One who is above all. And when I look heavenward I see Christ and His great love for me, his lack of favoritism, always choosing to act justly with love, grace and mercy.   A God who listens to every need, gives freely and hears my pleas for wisdom on how best to love, train and teach Luke at this age.  And most of all.  The freedom in Christ to walk forward with great peace with what is best for our family, according to His word, and this season in this moment.  Which may or may not include me standing in a long line to win the lottery for a 2 day 2 year old preschool class.

So it is with great confidence that I announce.  I am still praying about it.  :).